bureauofbalance | It Just Keeps Happening

Entry tags:

It Just Keeps Happening

Welcome To The Void Meme

Stop what you're doing!

No, really. Stop what you're doing. Put the pause on that tire fire you call your life. No, don't un-pause it. Leave the pause on.

Where you are now is not where you were before. The details are...vague. The details are always, often, rather vague. A place that's similar, or not. Fantasy Costco down the hall, the Voidfish in the basement. The calm waves of a never ending void somewhere off a while, and inches to the left. And everywhere else. And tapping on your shoulder. It's fine, just don't talk to it.

You're here now. You're here now. You're here now.

A lot of you are here now. A lot of.... you, are here now.

Might as well have fun with that.

[ooc: a general mingle to start us off! Doubles welcome and encourage. Only TAZ characters (canon-only) to start! Post your character's name and relevant aus/craus in the headers!)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[He is so tired, okay. He's just not as young as he used to be. Let him be dead in peace.]

It's hardly moonlighting when it's a full time job, considering my profession consists entirely of dragging people to another plane of existence to be trapped there for all eternity.

[So, like, yes, actually, he's very good at it can't you see.]

Sorry to crush your dreams of Death being a party master.

It's okay, buddy. People can always change. You could get there!

[ One day, Kravitz will learn to party. If Merle has to siphon it out of his own party points, he'll do it, by thunder. ]

[He lets out a little snort of laughter, because goodness, as usual, Merle has entirely missed the point here.]

Well, under your tutelage, how could I possibly fail?

[Give him the alcohol back he wants more.]

[ Fine, he GUESSES Kravitz can have some more. ]

Exactly. I'm a certified professor on at least one plane, y'know. That was a pretty wild year.

[Good because he's taking it. He's got a damn high tolerance, considering its a bit difficult to get a being without a body inebriated but boy howdy does he try.]

Really now. Dare I even ask what you were teaching? Because I sincerely hope it wasn't botany.

Any botanical institute would be lucky to have me. And I'd be gettin' lucky to have it.

[ What if we pick up merle and push him into the cleansing waters of the ocean ]

But nope. Wasn't botany. I invented, and then taught, interpretive jazz dance!

[Kravitz groans, puts his face in his hand, and then just takes another chug. He can't handle this. He officially can't handle this. This is so much worse than he actually thought.]

Interpretive. Jazz. Dance.

[How does he even process this.]

How... how did you even get there? Not usually something that comes with being a cleric type. Unless Pan is secretly the god of dance and I was entirely unaware.

[ Welcome to the disaster zone. ]

He's not against it or anything. I didn't have to go teach dance in an empty warehouse in secret. I just had a year to kill on a pretty nice world! All about creativity! Some of us did music, some of us did arts and crafts, some of us danced. You might not know about that once since I didn't die there. Pretty cool place.

I don't actually have details about every time you've died, you know. Just that you did. A truly impressive amount of times, or what would be impressive if it didn't constitute stomping-- no, sorry, must be dancing-- all over the rules of the universe.

[He gives Merle a snide little look, but it's not mean spirited. At this point he's just accepted he's tied up in this clusterfuck, and there's very little he can do to disrupt that.]

Regardless. Good to know you didn't just spend all that time dead and nowhere. Even if you should have been in the correct plane.

[ friendship pact

S E A L E D.

I can't believe Merle was Krav's saltmate this whole time. ]

Ohh, sure, sure, I get it. Save on paperwork, details don't filter down. Gosh, you're tellin' me, though. Home plane was fun while it lasted! But that ship sailed. About a hundred times. I'm kinda diggin' where we're at right now, myself. Personal taste.

[Spoiler alert, Kravitz is the saltiest motherfucker on any plane. Taako wasn't wrong when he made a joke about him looking like salt in Lucas' lab, that's just his natural goddam form. As it stands, he rolls his eyes, downs another swig.]

Yes, well, I suppose it at least seemed like it was exciting. I do enjoy this planar system, but... it sounds like it was fascinating, to get to explore so many worlds like that. To travel. I don't have much time to see the sights, obviously.

[ Merle laughs. ]

You sound like a real party pooper even when you're positive, you know that?

[ He holds a hand out. Pass that over here buddo. ]

You oughta wrangle yourself a vacation sometime! Travel it up. You got those fancy portals, so if you don't like the adventure, you still got the destination. 'course, I say, you always gotta go for the adventure.

[He looks at Merle like he considers not giving it over, but takes another swig and then presses the bottle into his hands.]

It's rather hard to get time off when your job is as demanding as mine. Unless you'd all like to pause on the dying for a week so I can hit the beach. And considering the track record of just you three, I don't think the entire plane would be so forgiving.

[ What a good friend :') ]

Tough schedule down there, huh? [ anyway krav you're from hell right. like down below. the hell place. ] Know what you need? A couple of temps. Y- interns, y'know? Do the work, get the coffee, vacation handled.

[Merle, for a man who knows gods, you'd imagine you could figure out where the Astral Plane is. But he does chuckle a bit at the suggestion.]

I don't think you can part-time serving a god of a natural order.

[A pause.]

Well, on the other hand, you exist. So maybe my far-off dreams of lounging in the sun aren't as impossible as they seem.

[ I mean damn, Krav, sorry Merle pulls in boyfriends from all forms of existence and gets special favors. ]

You tried asking about it yet?

[Gee Merle, why does your god let you have TWO boyfriends??]

I, well... no? Gods don't get to take time off from being gods. I don't imagine as a servant I would recieve further privileges. But... perhaps.

Huh. Guess I assumed the worship setup was a little more like bein' buddies.

[ He sighs, super put-upon obviously, and pats Kravitz on the arm. ]

Okay, okay, you got me. I'll grab the scythe and I'll go pick up the souls.

[He can't help himself. Merle says that and he just laughs, like, directly at him.]

You? A reaper? Oh, oh gods what a thought. What an image.

[I can't believe Merle was Sans Undertale all along, the three foot skeleman.]

[ megalovania playing in the bg. ]

Come on, it could work! [ Like he's not also laughing a little. ] Just picture it better! You die. You're scared and confused. A wayward soul, wandering the world, gettin' lost. And then the big creepy portal opens up and out comes... this guy.

[Megalovania playing loudly in Kravitz' head for all eternity tbh.]

Honestly, that would be quite an image. I find most people surprised that I tend to look more, ah, alive as it were. I think the tree arm might be a little more confusing, though, lest they think they're being picked up by a god of life.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It Just Keeps Happening

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject